Naming the Self Sabotage in your Life

In Uncategorized by Carissa RodgersLeave a Comment

Do you have dreams? Do you have something you’ve been desiring it even working towards but it hasn’t yet manifested? There may be a few key things connected to this. Our ability to self-address, assess and decompress is hard to exercise sometimes. Time is usually an issue. In other cases, we have the time but still have road blocks we can’t identify. The biggest one is related to our subconscious mind. This is played out in a variety of scenarios with one common theme: we know what we want and many times, how to get there. But, usually, the thing we desire the most — we simply ‘can’t get right’.

This is not a reflection of our capacity or potential. The world is truly ours for the taking. We can’t get right most often times because we’ve been programmed with fear and conformity so early, that the very belief system necessary to facilitate our success does the opposite. Can’t get right is, in a nutshell, self-sabotage. The question is why we self-sabotage and what can we do to reverse or correct it.

Our brains are constantly working from birth. Every experience, encounter, memory that we experience helps to form our thoughts, speech and actions. It is often said that our subconscious mind is the soil of which our conscious mind is the gardener. Our subconscious holds the receipts of all we come into context with. Our conscious mind picks and chooses what to present from it depending on what it is considering at the time based on different patterns or algorithms formed from our self-image. Our self-image is a compilation of what we’ve seen, been told about ourselves, been blessed (or cursed) to experience, a total sum of our memory in relation to ourselves. By the time our awareness has formed to know what this image is, it is already imbedded, generally present by age 5 and solidified by 7. Most of us don’t go back to process experiences from that long ago but it’s necessary to identify where our perception and behaviors are rooted along with what they’re connected to.

When we dream, hopefully, we are dreaming big. The actions we take to manifest those dreams often lead us down roads uncharted. They make us aware of new things around us as well as aware of ourselves. This awareness is uncomfortable when it’s new. Add in fear, of anything, and it can be disastrous. Self-sabotage is the consequential result of discomfort and fear. Confidence, however, is nurtured in knowledge. Love yourself enough to be intimate and know thyself. Here are a few steps that can usher us into the work that can free up from our limitations.

  1. Look in the mirror, get completely naked and tell the truth about what you see. Start with your 3 strongest attributes that you believe to be true about yourself. Ask yourself the first time you had to become those things and why. What’s the story? Then sit in that place and welcome all of the emotions you feel. You may need to write about it. You may need to reach out to some folks and have conversation. You might need to get a therapist (because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that) if you do so and find the pain too much to bear. But go there.
  2. Identify your tribe. Think of the people you know and love the most, those who you know have your back and your best interest at heart. Think of the worst criticism they’ve given you, maybe that hurt too much to receive. You may even need to write it down so you can keep track. Identify the truth in each of their words. And if you’ve ever been nasty to them about it, no matter how much time passes, all apologies matter.
  3. Ask yourself about your life’s experiences, where does it hurt? Feel your open personal response and make note of it. Then, think of what you need most in your life, to heal and overcome. Create or find an affirmation that speaks to you, your peace and your growth. Say that to yourself every day. Put it on your walls. Chant it on your beads. Ask God for it in your prayers. Feed yourself back to life.

Our past helps us understand who we are and we can become who we need to be to assume our true purpose in the future. The hard part is being willing to move our feet from one place to another in the midst of the pain. It will hurt but even if you must slow down to catch your breath, keep going. On the other side of your new subconscious mind is the ability to manifest in ways you might not have ever imagined. Unfortunately, you will not know if you do not try. Not trying is also rooted to a reason. To have the life you have dreamed of means assuming full responsibility for your future and creating it. What could be more worth it? Learn yourself. Feel yourself. Heal yourself. Build yourself. It’s a journey but it will get you to the destiny of a better version of yourself!

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